DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in an upscale workplace constructing within the downtown core. Our constructing is meant to be solicitor-free, however once in a while we get walk-in solicitors, firms making an attempt to promote their companies and other people making an attempt to provide résumés.
That is each annoying and bothersome. Our workplace is locked, so these folks have to ring or knock to be let in — after which after they are available in, I understand they don’t seem to be shoppers, however peddlers.
Is it rude to say there is no such thing as a soliciting within the constructing, or ought to I take their card and simply say I’ll cross it on, although I gained’t?
I perceive that these individuals are making an attempt to higher themselves, however they’re already breaking guidelines and taking time away from my work.
GENTLE READER: One can implement a constructing rule rudely and one can implement it politely, however you look like asking if the rule itself is impolite — a behavior, maybe, in an age when everyone seems to be requested to touch upon the whole lot.
The rule itself strikes Miss Manners as innocuous. Extra importantly, it’s not inside your authority to alter. Inform the particular person that you’re sorry, however the house owners have a rule in opposition to soliciting within the constructing.
You may then decide up a cellphone, leaving them to guess whether or not that is to tell somebody of their presence or merely to go about your individual enterprise.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I discovered from a treasured buddy that if an individual brings up a subject relating to themselves, it often means they wish to discuss it.
Stated buddy will then, typically, appear to throw up her guard once I ask a query, wanting to listen to extra.
Is it impolite to ask questions when somebody brings up a private topic? Am I asking the unsuitable questions? Maybe I’m asking the unsuitable approach. In that case, how ought to I politely ask? Perhaps I would like the right preface.
GENTLE READER: There isn’t any one-size-fits-all reply to such a query besides to say: When doubtful, attentive listening is often the least more likely to get one in bother.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two grandchildren of my sisters-in-law graduated from highschool final weekend.
We gladly traveled the 2 hours to their respective events and gave each a money present.
Each sisters-in-law have texted, thanking us for coming and for the great items. I think (in a single occasion, anyway) that we’re to not anticipate a reply from the recipient, because the textual content went into element how appreciative the graduate is, how the cash can be put to make use of and what his future plans are.
How do I reply? It feels misplaced to say “You’re welcome” to the grandparents, after we attended and gifted in honor of the graduates.
GENTLE READER: The issue, as each you and the sisters-in-law know or suspect, is that the unmannerly recipients aren’t going to specific thanks themselves.
So the query inside your query is whether or not you let the sisters-in-law — who are not looking for you to suppose ailing of their grandchildren — off the hook.
Miss Manners would have you ever textual content again that you’re “Glad they are enjoying the gift.” This can reassure the sisters-in-law that you don’t have any quarrel with them — whereas its brevity relieves you of instantly addressing the bigger query.
