FBI Director Kash Patel continues to be staggeringly dangerous at his job, however staggeringly good at his grift. Hey, you must all the time play to your strengths, proper?
In his newest money seize—your taxpayer greenback money, that’s—Patel acquired himself a flowery new experience. Up to now, FBI administrators have been pushed round in Chevy Suburbans by their safety element, however is that an acceptable car for a person so flashy he has his personal cheesy clothes line that includes Trump-themed Christmas hoodies and cheesy customized problem cash? No sir, it isn’t.
So, no Chevy for Kash. As a substitute, he wants a high-end armored BMW X5 as a result of … it’s much less conspicuous than a Chevy Suburban, apparently?
“Kash Patel’s girlfriend, your ride is here” by Jack Ohman
An FBI spokesperson informed MS NOW that the FBI was completely completely already planning on shopping for upgraded automobiles, and the armored BMW was the cheaper possibility, however in fact, the spokesperson declined to point out his work. The federal government doesn’t should inform you something any longer, together with how your cash is spent.
MS NOW famous that the State Division contracts with BMW for armored sedans, however that’s for diplomats in high-risk abroad places. Until Las Vegas, Nashville, and wherever else Patel’s girlfriend is plying her commerce as a faux nation music celebrity are immediately high-risk places, an armored BMW appears kinda like overkill.
Nonetheless, Patel is wholly dedicated to creating the FBI his personal private luxurious transportation empire. Actually, he’s doing a lot better at that than he’s at performing the duties of his precise job, like attempting to seize mass shooters.
Positive, the FBI director is botching main investigations, however at the very least he has the FBI performing as an an Uber service for the country-music-wannabe girlfriend and her drunk pals. Pay attention, everybody is aware of it’s important to care for your fake-starlet companion and her pals. It’s like job primary for the FBI.
Associated | FBI brokers now reportedly performing as Kash Patel’s private Uber
Patel is presently utilizing the FBI Gulfstream jet on the common to get to work, as a result of he doesn’t dwell in Washington, the place the place his job is. He additionally makes use of it to go see his girlfriend carry out at numerous low-rent sporting occasions, as a result of that’s how you retain America secure.
Maybe as a result of he’s been racking up so many frequent flier miles on the taxpayer dime, that Gulfstream has begun to really feel outdated and busted. That will clarify why earlier this yr, he tried to get the FBI to purchase him a more moderen, presumably extra luxurious jet. That effort failed, with 4 individuals telling MS NOW that the thought was deserted after studying it will have value between $90 million and $115 million to snap up a brand new airplane for Patel.
Not honest! Why can’t Patel have one awful measly new luxurious jet when Homeland Safety Secretary Kristi Noem simply acquired two new ones?
The FBI most likely has some further scratch today, what with the approaching departure of Deputy Director Dan Bongino. Quickly, the Bureau is not going to must pay for each Bongino and Bongino’s babysitter, Co-Deputy Director Andrew Bailey, although that most likely isn’t going to fairly cowl an eight- or nine-figure airplane.
Wait! What if the FBI buys Patel his new airplane after which he can simply give his unhappy outdated worn-out Gulfstream to his girlfriend? Drawback solved, all people wins!
Effectively, aside from all of us, who get to proceed to pay for the continued care, feeding, and coddling of one of many least competent and least efficient individuals in an administration stuffed with feckless nitwits.
