I acquired a lotta issues with President Donald Trump and the Republican Celebration, and now you are going to hear about it!
It is Festivus, the semi-fictional vacation from “Seinfeld” during which, amongst different issues, revelers get pleasure from a vacation meal earlier than airing their grievances from the earlier yr. And boy, do I’ve grievances.
To Trump: You need to be being sentenced for the crimes you dedicated in your first time period, however as a substitute, you’re again within the Oval Workplace, enriching your self by means of cryptocurrency schemes in addition to corrupt shakedowns from main firms, faculties and universities, and overseas governments. Day-after-day, you remind us of how unfit you might be to occupy the White Home, which you’ve gotten defaced with cheesy gold decor whereas paving over the Rose Backyard and pulling down a wing of the constructing to assemble an ostentatious ballroom—all whereas attempting your finest to starve the poor.
To Republican lawmakers: What’s the level of being an elected official in case you willingly neuter your individual energy and do nothing however stand by as Trump does what he desires, even when it hurts the individuals who voted for you? You are all cowards who should lose subsequent yr’s midterm elections, and I’ll do all the pieces in my energy to make sure that occurs.
Elon Musk and the soar mocked ‘around the web.
To Elon Musk: You embarrassing, ketamine-fueled idiot. The injury you unleashed along with your “Department of Government Efficiency” debacle will take many years to repair. The considered you amassing a trillion {dollars} in private wealth as you made Social Safety tougher for Individuals to entry, minimize medical analysis funding for devastating illnesses, cruelly fired hundreds of federal staff, and ripped life-saving assist away from the neediest individuals on the globe makes me bodily in poor health. Additionally, everybody nonetheless thinks you’re bizarre.
To Secretary of State Marco Rubio: No quantity of debasing your self at Trump’s toes will make you president in 2028. I hope throwing away your values was price it!
To Lawyer Common Pam Bondi: Fuck you for making me should defend former FBI Director James Comey. You’re the worst legal professional normal in American historical past, amongst an inventory that features Jeff Classes, Invoice Barr, and warrantless surveillant Alberto Gonzales. You need to be disbarred.
To Division of Homeland Safety Secretary Kristi Noem and FBI Director Kash Patel: Fuck you for utilizing my hard-earned tax {dollars} to fly round on non-public jets attempting to spice up your individual photos so you possibly can money in once more in your right-wing grift as soon as you might be inevitably fired for being terrible at your jobs.
FBI Director Kash Patel and Secretary of Homeland Safety Kristi Noem, simply havin’ enjoyable being power-mad.
To frame czar Tom Homan: You need to be in jail proper now for (allegedly) taking a bag filled with $50,000 from undercover FBI brokers in alternate for (allegedly) promising to facilitate profitable authorities contracts. Justice is hopefully coming for you within the subsequent Democratic administration.
To Immigration and Customs Enforcement brokers: You’re sick individuals. Sporting masks to cover your identities as you racially profile passersby, violently arresting them with out warrants, and sending them into squalid circumstances the place they should struggle for his or her launch—all to hit an arbitrary quota set out by Trump and his racist aide Stephen Miller. It’s important to be a real sociopath to hold out this deportation agenda—concentrating on hundreds of thousands of people that simply need to present higher lives for his or her households—after which go house to your households and say you might be pleased with your work.
To main companies, regulation companies, universities, and world leaders: You’re cowards. Fairly than band collectively to face as much as the shakedowns from Trump and his goons, you folded like moist noodles, throwing cash at Expensive Chief within the hopes that you’d be spared the worst of his wrath. Within the course of, you’ve got helped fund a corrupt presidency, weakened your establishments, and can go down within the historical past books as losers who did the fallacious factor at a pivotal second. You all deserve each ounce of scorn that is hurled your means.
And to those that voted for Trump—is that this actually what you voted for? Crippling tariffs? Out-of-control costs? Rising unemployment? Medical insurance premium spikes? Militarized cities? Masked immigration officers terrorizing neighborhoods? Final yr’s election was an open-book check, and also you failed. I hope you’ve gotten the day you voted for.
With that out of the way in which, be at liberty to air your individual grievances within the feedback. All of us want some group catharsis after the yr we have had.
