Hello? Hello? Is This Facebook? Anybody There? (Nope.)

You thought you had to wait forever to speak with a customer service representative? Facebook and Instagram serve nearly 3 billion users a day with a help desk that numbers closer to zero.

So pity John Bacon, a 72-year-old retiree of Cleveland, Ohio. Facebook disabled his account after it was hacked last year, and he expected to speak with someone about getting it up and running.