Harriette Cole: A woman in school is spreading lies about my sister

DEAR HARRIETTE: This lady in school, “Lina,” wished to create gossip locally by spreading false details about my sister being pregnant and not using a father.

My sister shouldn’t be pregnant nor does she have a boyfriend. Lina is simply attempting to fire up drama as a result of I used to be unable to lend her some cash. It looks as if she needs to break my sister’s fame and injury our bond.

I really feel annoyed and harm by her actions. I need to confront her, however I’m unsure the way to method the scenario. It’s essential to deal with the difficulty with out escalating the battle. I must discover a option to shield my sister and set boundaries with Lina.

— Damaging Falsehoods

DEAR DAMAGING FALSEHOODS: It’s not potential to manage rumors. Sadly, the extra salacious they’re, the extra rapidly they unfold.

Converse on to Lina. Inform her if she doesn’t cease with the lies, you’ll inform your neighborhood why she is doing this. She could be embarrassed on your peer group to know that she is lashing out since you wouldn’t lend her cash.

Ask her to cease with the mean-spirited tales about your sister — or else. Be ready to inform the reality to key folks in your buddy group if that’s the one option to get her to cease.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There’s this man I’ve been interested by for some time now. Now we have nice chemistry, and each time we hang around, I discover myself liking him extra.

The issue is, he’s already gone after three of my mates.

Every time, he’s flirted with one in every of them or dated them briefly, and despite the fact that none of these relationships turned critical, it’s left me feeling conflicted. It makes me really feel embarrassed and form of silly for nonetheless being interested by him, understanding he’s been concerned with my mates.

I can’t shake the sensation that there’s one thing between us, however on the identical time, I’m apprehensive about what it says about him — and about me! — if I pursue one thing.

A part of me appears like I ought to simply transfer on and let it go, however then I’m wondering if I’m overthinking it. I don’t know if I’m placing an excessive amount of weight on the truth that he’s dated my mates, or if it’s a pink flag I ought to take significantly.

How do I get previous the embarrassment I’m feeling? Ought to I be involved about his previous with my mates, or ought to I simply focus alone emotions and see the place issues go?

— Too Shut for Consolation

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: How shut are you to the chums he has dated? Appears to me you would possibly ask one in every of them what occurred after they dated.

For those who really feel comfy, reveal that you’ve got preferred him for some time and also you need to see if there’s any probability for the 2 of you, however you’re apprehensive given that you’ve got observed that he has dated folks in your buddy group. Sure, you danger not retaining your emotions a secret, however it may very well be value it to seek out out any particulars about how this man behaves when relationship others.

Take note of the suggestions you get. For those who do resolve to pursue him, you may also ask him — when the time is correct — what didn’t work when he dated different ladies you already know. However that’s for later.