DEAR ABBY: My mom handed away lately, and my brother, who lives close by, is clearing out her home. (I reside abroad.)
He requested me if there was something I wished from the home, and I advised him I wished the pictures of my kids once they had been younger, which I had despatched to my mom over time. I advised he ship them to my daughter in New York, as she will probably be coming to go to me in a couple of months and may carry them.
My brother mailed the photographs, and my daughter opened the package deal. Upon seeing the photographs, she determined she wished to maintain those she is in and to go the remaining to her sister.
She claims they’re hers. I say they don’t seem to be. She was solely meant to be a messenger to carry them to me.
— PICTURE-LESS IN ISRAEL
DEAR PICTURE-LESS: You’re proper. As you said, the photographs may have been copied on your daughters in the event that they wished.
That your daughter is now not chatting with you over this tells me there could also be different household points between you and your daughters. If I had been you, I’d take this into consideration when drafting my will.
DEAR ABBY: My father and I’ve had a contentious relationship since I used to be an adolescent.
Regardless of being raised in his home, my values are completely different from his, and he takes it personally. I left dwelling as quickly as I used to be sufficiently old and have lived the way in which I need since then.
After a few years of not seeing one another, my father requested if we might be in additional common contact. We tried that, and it went badly. Each dialog led to a battle. Once I advised him we wanted a household counselor to assist us discover widespread floor, he completely refused.
Now he’s telling our family that I reduce off contact with him and am retaining him from my youngsters. This isn’t true. I wished us to work with a mediator to discover a more healthy approach of speaking with one another. I’m now not positive it’s reasonable.
He’s involving my siblings, aunts and cousins and making them select sides. How do I shield the relationships I’ve with the remainder of my household if he retains performing like a jerk?
For what it’s price: My life is fairly boring. I’m 30 and married, and I’ve a school diploma and a strong job. We reside in a home in a pleasant neighborhood and watch our children play soccer on the weekends.
— MY OWN MAN IN MISSOURI
DEAR OWN MAN: How has that isolation plan of your father’s been working? Do you’ve good relationships with the remainder of your loved ones?
If you happen to haven’t already, give your family chapter and verse about your father’s controlling habits. Make it clear to them that you just wish to have a relationship along with your dad, however until he’s keen to just accept skilled mediation, you can’t have one.
You could have all of the elements for a cheerful life. It is going to be yours for those who can resist your father’s coercion.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
