Though Elon Musk’s exit from authorities service was the messiest breakup ever, the multibillionaire’s legacy will reside on within the so-called Division of Authorities Effectivity. It’s not simply that DOGE personnel at the moment are squirreled away in different companies, although that’s undoubtedly the case. Sadly, DOGE’s actual legacy is the mindset of reducing authorities to the bone with little regard for the results.
We’re nonetheless enjoying the “Who Runs DOGE?” sport
That is the stupidest sport. Keep in mind that the Trump administration performed coy about Musk’s position, saying with nice fanfare that he was the top of DOGE, but insisting to courts that Amy Gleason, a random official who appears to have realized of her new position whereas on trip, was working issues, though she additionally discovered time to work at a completely completely different company.
Gleason continues to be listed because the appearing administrator, however simply as was the case through the Musk period, she doesn’t seem like doing something at DOGE. As an alternative, Russell Vought, Challenge 2025 guru, Christian nationalist, and head of the Workplace of Administration and Price range, will now run DOGE from the shadows.
The place Musk was a mercurial toddler who slashed and burned his method via the federal authorities, Vought is methodical, steadily advancing towards his twin objectives of placing federal employees “in trauma” and making America a Christian nation managed by a conservative Christian authorities. Put one other method, Vought is simply as dedicated as Musk was to destroying the executive state—and he may be higher at getting that achieved.
DOGE’s AI efforts nonetheless suck
Regardless of all proof on the contrary, the Trump administration stays satisfied that DOGE will in some way change 1000’s of presidency employees with synthetic intelligence. Once they tried to let AI resolve which Division of Veterans Affairs contracts to cancel, it was a predictable catastrophe. The AI software hallucinated the worth of contracts, deciding that over 1,000 contracts had been value $34 million every. The DOGE worker who developed the software had no explicit background in AI, however used AI to write down a few of his code nonetheless. Then DOGE let the factor free within the VA, the place it decided that 2,000 contracts had been “MUNCHABLE” and due to this fact not important.
That is solely the newest pathetic effort by the administration to push shoddy AI instruments on federal companies. One federal worker described GSAi, an AI software for the Basic Companies Administration, as “about as good as an intern” that gave “generic and guessable answers.” One other chatbot on the Meals and Drug Administration’s Middle for Gadgets and Radiological Well being has problem importing paperwork or permitting chatbot customers to submit questions. Not a giant assist, notably since people are already fairly succesful at importing paperwork and answering questions. Regardless of these repeated failures, the administration stays satisfied that AI is magical and prepared for prime time.
Guess what? One other chatbot
You may suppose the above failures meant that the administration wouldn’t preserve making an attempt to shoehorn crappy AI tech into authorities companies, however you’d be unsuitable. Certainly, they love chatbots a lot that they’re launching an entire web site, AI.gov, on July 4, though proper now that simply redirects to the White Home’s horrible entrance web page.
The GSA is now helmed by Thomas Shedd, a former Tesla engineer with no expertise in authorities expertise or companies—however hey, he wrote software program for Tesla’s automobile and battery factories, which completely interprets, proper? The crappiness of the interior GSAi software appears to be no impediment to Shedd rolling out a web site to “accelerate government innovation with AI,” that includes “three powerful AI tools [and] one integrated platform.”
Associated | Elon Musk is gone, however ‘Massive Balls’ stays—and we’re all paying for him
Set to launch on Independence Day, AI.gov will characteristic essential info, together with how a lot every authorities entity is utilizing AI. Why on earth that specific metric is so essential is unclear, save for as a strategy to complain that companies aren’t utilizing these half-baked AI instruments sufficient. There’s additionally going to be an API, or Utility Programming Interface, built-in with industrial AI merchandise from locations like OpenAI and Google. Simply what the world wants: authorities information shoveled into the infinite maw of for-profit AI corporations. The third spectacular software is maybe a chatbot, though the positioning doesn’t specify what it will do.
You may surprise how we learn about this, given it’s not alleged to launch for a couple of extra weeks. Nicely, as a result of early variations of the GSA’s code for the positioning leaked on the general public code repository Github. Terrific. Very safe.
What’s extra environment friendly than frequently firing individuals after which having to rent them again?
Musk and his cartoonish DOGE bullies fired individuals with out worry nor favor nor intelligence. This has led to repeated cycles of firing and rehiring. Typically that occurred as a result of DOGE fired individuals after which realized they wanted these staff. That’s what occurred after the mass-firing of 180 probationary staff on the Facilities for Illness Management and Prevention. Simply two weeks later, they had been all requested to return again as a result of “after further review and consideration,” the DOGE dolts realized these employees had been wanted. Most instances, companies have interaction in that assessment and consideration earlier than firing lots of of individuals, however DOGE is constructed completely different.
Over on the Division of Well being and Human Companies, secretary and whale juice fanatic Robert F. Kennedy Jr. introduced a DOGE vibe to his slashing of 10,000 jobs, wiping out complete applications. Then Kennedy determined to rent a few of these staff again. What number of? Don’t know, however in response to Kennedy, the firing and rehiring had been all the time a part of the plan. Once more, most companies don’t mass hearth individuals solely to resolve to convey them again in dribs and drabs. DOGE needed to beg individuals to return to the State Division after gleefully firing them. The Division of Agriculture needed to attempt to rehire fowl flu specialists whom DOGE had fired,
The administration has additionally been ordered by the courts to reinstate federal employees, however the authorities continues to combat these rulings, getting the Supreme Courtroom to pause a decrease courtroom order requiring the rehiring of 16,000 probationary employees. This back-and-forth will proceed gone when “Big Balls” is only a pale reminiscence because the administration fights to make the DOGE cuts everlasting, even when they’re silly.
Among the worst DOGE cuts are about to turn out to be regulation
Whereas DOGE was given free rein to hack its method via the federal authorities, the administration solely despatched a couple of of DOGE’s cuts to Congress for them to be handed into regulation. Out of the $160 billion ostensibly saved by DOGE—properly in need of the promised $2 trillion—the administration requested Congress to codify solely $9.4 billion.
The funds’s passing would slash $1.1 billion from NPR and PBS, eliminating all their federal funding as a result of Trump thinks they’re radical leftists, a factor that anybody who listens to NPR or watches PBS is aware of shouldn’t be true. Trump additionally needs to make everlasting the $9 million slashed from the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Reduction.
Modeling research present that the PEPFAR cuts may end in as much as 11 million new HIV infections and three million extra deaths by 2030. By one estimate, over 63,000 adults and 6,700 kids have already died due to PEPFAR funding freezes. These deaths are on Musk, DOGE, and Trump, however none of these ghouls care.
Feral DOGE children stay in companies
DOGE is now embedded on the Basic Companies Administration, and new everlasting authorities staff now embrace “Big Balls” Edward Coristine and Luke Farritor. It’s unclear how 19-year-old Coristine’s background as a hacker for rent and 23-year-old Farritor’s background as a SpaceX intern make them certified to work within the GSA, however LOL nothing issues anymore.
Inside Division Secretary Doug Burgum has principally ceded all his authority to former oil govt Tyler Hassen, who’s now working that company as a kind of shadow Cupboard minister after the DOGE takeover. Hassen is ideal for turning Inside from a division that protects public lands into one which exploits them by permitting oil and fuel drilling as a substitute.
One other DOGE denizen who acquired a candy authorities job is Airbnb founder Joe Gebbia, who’s embarking on a “digital design challenge” overhauling the Workplace of Personnel Administration’s retirement system.
Over on the CDC, all grants should now be reviewed by unnamed DOGE staff earlier than cash might be launched. This happens after assessment and approval by company personnel who’re public well being specialists moderately than tweens infatuated with Elon Musk. This obligatory secondary assessment provides DOGE personnel the flexibility to dam any grants primarily based on regardless of the spiders of their mind are saying on the time, which isn’t precisely useful for public well being.
DOGE will get your Social Safety information
Because of the Supreme Courtroom, DOGE now will get your Social Safety information to do … properly, nobody is aware of what, however it’s not going to be for something good. DOGE has already used its entry to this information to push Trump’s political agenda by canceling contracts in Maine after the state’s Democratic governor made Trump unhappy. However hey, at the least a 21-year-old Palantir intern now is aware of every part about you.
You, in flip, don’t get to know something about DOGE. The Supreme Courtroom blessed the administration’s refusal to supply any details about the character of DOGE as a result of it will violate the separation of powers if the chief department needed to clarify itself to the courtroom. It’s cool to reside in a time the place the courts are eagerly ceding their authority to Trump as a substitute of appearing as a test or steadiness.
DOGE children convey new ranges of cheesy to the federal government
The offended toddlers who make up the core of DOGE are usually not precisely individuals who deal with issues with respect. The DOGE staff on the GSA took over components of the workplace for his or her unique use, together with the gymnasium and the roof. Completely regular for inexperienced authorities staff to do, sure certainly.
DOGE personnel additionally trashed the headquarters of the US Institute of Peace after a courtroom allowed them to actually steal it. After the takeover, the DOGE goons turned wholly disinterested within the constructing, abandoning it and letting it get overrun with rats and cockroaches. For good measure, there was intensive water injury as properly. However though the DOGEkins seldomly used the constructing, they did handle to depart behind some actually shitty weed.
These are really the precise individuals you need working your authorities—and now they’re right here to remain.
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