When you consider Elon Musk—although, truthfully, why would you?—he’s going to construct eleventy billion humanoid robots that can do actually every little thing, ushering in an unprecedented period of peace and prosperity.
Elon Musk
Did we point out that—since Elon’s cultural reference factors appear to be these of a tween who’s satisfied that, as a result of he learn one science fiction e-book, he’s light-years past his friends—the dumb robots are named Optimus? As in Prime? Sigh.
In actuality, these robots, whose existence can be simply over the horizon endlessly, actually solely exist as a method for Musk to faux that he’s well worth the staggering pay packages his corporations are silly sufficient to offer him.
So listed below are some issues that Musk’s robots are completely, positively, completely going to have the ability to do.
Get constructed!
Uh, yeah, as just a bit little bit of a threshold matter: they don’t exist but. Tesla says there’s an Optimus pilot manufacturing line and that the robots are being examined in Musk’s factories and places of work.
However in fact—although they’re apparently simply on the “let the robots wander around the hallways” stage—by 2026, manufacturing can be in full swing, with 1 million models made per 12 months by 2030—or it could be 2029.
Certain.
Be for everybody!
Musk is presently predicting that these items will promote for $20,000, which is only a wee bit out of the “purchase dozens of them for my home” vary for most individuals. He additionally desires to have “strong influence” over his robotic military.
How do you make the robotic a ketamine-addled racist? Extra to the purpose, how do you make folks wish to pay mid-five figures for a ketamine-addled racist robotic?
Destroy the carceral state!
Who knew Musk was such an abolitionist? Properly, positive, he’s little question at all times been in opposition to jail for himself and his cronies, however Musk is nothing if not a person of the folks—so he desires to verify all of us get the possibility at endlessly freedom.
A Tesla robotic is seen on show.
The place does Optimus determine in? Per Musk, his faux robotic could present a “more humane form of containment of future crime.”
You understand, we don’t usually attempt to include future crime due to the way it doesn’t exist but and all. However since Musk has an unmatched capacity to take the flawed classes from the books he pretends to learn, he appears to suppose that Philip Ok. Dick’s PreCrime system in “The Minority Report” was inspirational reasonably than dystopian.
In Musk’s courageous new world—most likely one other e-book the place he missed the purpose—in the future, you possibly can get a free Optimus to observe you round and stop you from committing crimes.
“But other than that you get to do anything,” Musk mentioned.
Okay, however can the robotic rating us some ketamine?
Go to Mars!
SpaceX goes to Mars—and it’ll take Optimus! Subsequent 12 months! After which people will be part of them in 2029! Or 2031!
Certain …
Again in 2017, Musk mentioned that individuals can be on Mars by 2024, however possibly he was simply ready for Optimus.
Oh, and he will even must cease his SpaceX rockets from exploding for this to work.
Fold shirts!
Elon launched a promo video of Optimus folding a shirt—besides he later needed to admit that Optimus couldn’t do it “autonomously.” Isn’t having the ability to do issues autonomously sort of the entire level of robots?
Get rid of poverty!
A Tesla Cybertruck is seen on show.
Okay, let’s see in the event you can observe the maths. The robots will price about $20,000 every, however they will even be so ubiquitous and freely obtainable that none of us might want to have jobs, and we’ll get a common excessive revenue as a result of these robots can be a lot extra productive than human plebes.
Nevertheless it isn’t actually clear how this robot-based financial system would fairly work. You must discover the cash to purchase your robots, except you’re a prison and get a surveillance one without spending a dime. However upon getting the robots, they are going to be so productive that you simply’ll give up your job however in some way nonetheless have entry to an infinite cash spigot.
Looks like Musk, the world’s richest man, might simply instantly give us all cash reasonably than power this Rube Goldberg nonsense.
Babysit!
Think about your treasured darlings within the care of a glitchy robotic strongly influenced by Musk. Do you suppose your child desires some ketamine?
Save Tesla!
By some means, the factor that doesn’t but exist goes to develop into 80% of Tesla’s worth. Musk defined this in his “Master Plan Part IV” video.
Sure, Optimus will in some way make Tesla price $25 trillion—as a result of this man is a toddler with a toddler’s understanding of cash.
Be a coronary heart surgeon!
Come on. Optimus is just not going to be “better than the best human surgeon.”
However simply to make sure, why doesn’t Musk be the primary to go beneath the robotic’s knife?
