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The Wall Street Publication > Blog > Politics > Aggressive ICE raids led one man to ask: Ought to I self-deport?
Politics

Aggressive ICE raids led one man to ask: Ought to I self-deport?

Editorial Board Published November 1, 2025
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Aggressive ICE raids led one man to ask: Ought to I self-deport?
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Trump’s immigration crackdown is main some longtime residents to flee the nation. They depart behind fractured communities and grieving family members.

By Jeremy Lindenfeld for Capital & Important

On a heat night in early August, family and friends gathered in Juan Ramón González’s Pasadena, California, yard to eat selfmade tacos and share tales concerning the kind-eyed 56-year-old who had lived within the neighborhood for 3 a long time.

González, who entered the nation in his 20s with out authorization, had just lately been reassessing his life in the US. Amid challenges that when appeared unimaginable, he had been questioning whether or not he may — or ought to — keep right here, or return to the homeland he hadn’t visited because the mid-Nineties.

When he first informed his spouse, who has a U.S. inexperienced card, that he was considering of “self-deporting” again to his house state of Michoacán in southwestern Mexico, she thought he was joking — and it wasn’t humorous.

González had began contemplating leaving after the Trump administration started an aggressive marketing campaign of harassment, detention and expulsion focusing on undocumented immigrants. Based on President Donald Trump, “People in our country illegally can self-deport the easy way, or they can get deported the hard way.”

The latter technique generally concerned the federal authorities delivery off immigrants to a most safety jail in El Salvador or an alligator-surrounded, military-style jail camp within the Florida Everglades, and even cells constructed to maintain presumed al-Qaida terrorists at Guantánamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba.

The Trump administration claims to have already deported 400,000 individuals as of September and says it’s focusing on the estimated 14 million remaining undocumented immigrants, nearly 1,000,000 of whom are believed to reside in Los Angeles County, in keeping with analysis from USC. Since ICE and Border Patrol can’t spherical up so many individuals, in keeping with Amica Heart for Immigrant Rights senior lawyer Amelia Dagen, ways involving high-profile cruelty purpose to terrorize individuals like González into fleeing.  

Because the solar set over Pasadena that night time, it illuminated the clouds shades of pink and orange towards a deep purple sky. González regarded up on the spectacular colours and informed his family members how grateful he was to know them, how grateful he was that God had blessed him with “so many angels.”


González admires the sundown from his yard on the night earlier than his departure.

A Land of Alternative

Within the early Nineties, González was working in eating places and inns in Pátzcuaro, a city with red-tile roofs and colonial structure on the sting of a high-altitude lake in Michoacán. He was incomes sufficient to get by, however generally relied on tricks to pay the payments. A relative inspired him to hunt out his future north of the border. After some convincing, González flew to Tijuana after which walked, he stated, for 3 days to enter the US.

Due to a household connection, work got here quick. After a pair weeks in Pasadena, he was incomes minimal wage, which was greater than he ever had. By dwelling on a good finances in an residence with some family, he found that he may ship cash to help his household south of the border.

Quickly, he began working at an area Kentucky Fried Hen and took a liking to the assistant supervisor. Three years later, they married and commenced elevating two youngsters on a quiet Pasadena road. From his entrance porch, González turned a pleasant fixture of his neighborhood, greeting passing neighbors like Annabelle Freedman, who moved into the realm in 2023. She later stated that there was a heat about González and his household that helped her to really feel at house in Pasadena.

6Q9A5709.jpg
Weeks earlier than his departure, González and his daughter look via household photographs.

For many years, González thrived there and barely felt anxious about his authorized standing. The way in which he noticed it, not one of the presidents he had lived underneath within the U.S. — Clinton, George W. Bush, Obama, Trump and Biden — had brought on him a lot hassle, and he by no means felt the necessity to regularize his immigration standing, even after having a daughter who was a U.S. citizen. “For 30 years we had no problems. Life was good,” González informed Capital & Important in a Spanish-language interview.

However when Trump returned to the White Home early this yr, “Everything changed.”

Closely armed masked males started to seize day laborers in parking tons and throw them into unmarked vans. Border Patrol brokers in riot gear deployed tear fuel close to residential neighborhoods, whereas others in plain garments manhandled meals distributors on the road.

“Watching everything on TV made me depressed,” he stated. To him, it regarded like kidnappings. “In all the time I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Know Your Rights”

In January, whereas one of the crucial damaging wildfires in state historical past was lowering close by houses to ash, González evacuated his household for a month. Their home was spared from the flames, however within the chaos, the restaurant the place he was employed misplaced a lot of its prospects and will now not afford to maintain him on. He started to search for new work, however amid Trump’s ongoing crackdown on immigrants, that job search slowed to a crawl as a result of González was afraid to depart his neighborhood.

Freedman was handing out “Know Your Rights” stickers round Pasadena when she ran into González. “If you know anyone who is undocumented,” she informed him, “please share these.”

It wasn’t till the following time they ran into one another that he informed her about his immigration standing. From then on, the 2 often met to debate the challenges of undocumented life, which supplied González with an outlet of kinds.

However that didn’t change his circumstances. With out an earnings for months, he was consuming away at his financial savings, and his dread over immigration raids saved him up at night time worrying that masked federal brokers would possibly storm into his house and seize him.

One night time in Could, Daisy — González’s 22-year-old American-born daughter — was preparing for mattress when she acquired a telephone name from her father. He sounded faint, confused. Earlier that night time, a stranger had discovered him on a sidewalk in Highland Park, fading out and in of lucidity, and known as for assist. González vaguely remembered one thing about being picked up by an ambulance. He had suffered a coronary heart assault.

Ever because the Trump administration started large-scale raids at a lot of Los Angeles’ House Depots, automobile washes and eating places, González’s blood strain had been spiking. The danger was actual, he knew, since he had beforehand been via a coronary heart assault a number of years earlier.

Associated | What’s the purpose of the army if to not torment immigrants?

When Daisy arrived on the hospital, she noticed wires connecting González to medical units and crisscrossing his weakened, shirtless physique.

If he had been youthful and more healthy, González thought, he may not have let his circumstances get to him as a lot. There are hundreds of thousands of immigrants who, regardless of their concern, proceed to work in industries which have lengthy relied on, and generally exploited, undocumented labor, to get by and assist their family members. There are group teams which have stepped as much as shield weak individuals from being victimized by federal brokers from Los Angeles, New York Metropolis and Chicago to Portland, San Francisco, Boston and past.

Regardless of the widespread solidarity in his metropolis, González, effectively into center age, felt worn down. He began asking himself, “What am I doing here?”

If on the lookout for work was tough earlier than, the center assault made it almost unattainable. Caught at house in unhealthy well being with fixed anxiousness, González got here to a call: He would “self-deport” and depart the group he’d been part of for greater than half his life.

The Border

It’s one factor to resolve to depart, it’s one other to determine how.

With the assistance of household and buddies, González plotted his departure. He determined to not fly out of an American airport as a result of danger of being detained by federal officers within the U.S. As for driving, it might take greater than 30 hours from Los Angeles to Michoacán, and contain passing via some harmful components of Mexico. As an alternative, he determined to drive throughout the border into Tijuana after which catch a flight to Michoacán.

Daisy collected the paperwork her father would possibly want, like his delivery certificates and aircraft ticket, and Freedman helped begin a GoFundMe marketing campaign to complement González’s depleted financial savings and supplied to drive him throughout the border herself, with the assistance of her personal dad.

It took weeks to finalize their plans.

Cartoon by Clay Bennett

It’s arduous to know the way many individuals have ended up in González’s place, in keeping with Dagen, on the Amica Heart for Immigrant Rights.

She used to reassure immigrants that their rights normally protected them from rapid detention and deportation, and that the federal government would for essentially the most half comply with the legislation. She says she will be able to now not make such guarantees.

“It is hard to tell people that they have constitutional and statutory rights and that it is very likely those rights will not actually be honored,” Dagen stated.

The high-profile focusing on of immigrants and the subversion of their rights has pushed many to flee the nation, she stated. The Division of Homeland Safety claims, with out offering proof, that some 1.6 million individuals have fled the nation.

Whereas some, together with González, have adopted the Trump administration’s most popular language of “self-deportation” to explain their departure underneath duress, Dagen notes that it doesn’t outline any type of formal course of; it’s simply individuals leaving with out having any authorized framework for returning to the US.

In an advert launched by DHS, Secretary Kristi Noem claims undocumented immigrants who select to depart by their very own accord “may have an opportunity to return and enjoy our freedom and live the American dream.”

However Dagen stated such guarantees are being made in unhealthy religion and used to persuade folks that this supposed “process” is their greatest likelihood to keep away from violent arrests by federal brokers.

6Q9A5553-scaled.jpg
González stands in his Pasadena kitchen surrounded by objects and photographs related together with his Catholic religion.

González spent most of his final day at house together with his household, savoring their final moments collectively and packing his issues. When Freedman and her personal father arrived to select up González, his household was with him in the lounge, weeping. González’s preschool-aged granddaughter had wrapped herself round his leg, begging him to not depart.

After essentially the most tough goodbyes of his life, he climbed into the Freedmans’ backseat, alongside Daisy and his daughter-in-law, and set off for the border.

Daisy clutched her father’s arm for a lot of the drive right down to Tijuana. Whilst they made their manner towards Baja California, González remained terrified that immigration officers would one way or the other nab him earlier than he left the nation.

As mariachi music performed via the automobile audio system, they reminisced warmly about González’s years in California, the one place Daisy has ever lived.

Associated | Mass deportations are set to get much more merciless

There had been instances within the final three a long time when González desperately wished to make short-term visits to Mexico — his sister died of most cancers close to the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, his father handed away a number of months later and fewer than a yr after that, his mom adopted. He had longed to return to see them in particular person or, on the very least, to attend their funerals. However he couldn’t make certain that if he crossed the border, he would be capable of return.

As they approached the border in August, the environment within the automobile grew silent. They noticed a multicolored welcome signal approaching: “Tijuana México, aquí empieza la patria” — right here begins the homeland. Within the automobile, they had been all in tears.

After they crossed, González may consider just one factor to say — one thing he’d waited to exclaim throughout his months hunkered down in his Pasadena house: “Fuck you, ICE.”

Homeland?

At Tijuana Worldwide Airport, González entered safety, snaked his manner across the belt stanchions and disappeared into his terminal. After a three-hour flight, he arrived in Michoacán, which was a really completely different place from the one he left within the mid-Nineties. Some buddies had moved away, others had died.

6Q9A6012-scaled.jpg
The entrance door of the González household house in Pasadena. 

As we speak, González lives within the city of Pátzcuaro with an grownup daughter from his first marriage whom he hadn’t seen in particular person in a long time. 4 of his seven surviving siblings — two brothers and two sisters — are serving to him settle into a brand new life, sharing meals with him after they can.

From there, he laments what he left behind in California.

“Half of my life stayed there,” González stated throughout a current follow-up telephone interview from Pátzcuaro. “I cried when I said goodbye to my family, I cried when I arrived in Mexico, I cried the entire way here,” he stated.

“When I think about it, I still cry sometimes.”

When Daisy opens the entrance door of her Pasadena house, she nonetheless half-expects to see González welcoming her. As an alternative he’s a 1,770-mile drive away, in a Mexican state that the Trump administration warns is simply too harmful for Individuals to journey to as a result of widespread violence from “terrorist groups, cartels, gangs and criminal organizations.”

He’s unsure if he’ll ever really feel at house in Michoacán the best way he did in Pasadena. He appears ahead to a time when his California household would possibly go to him. He hopes to discover a new native restaurant job, even whether it is sure to pay far much less, so he can sooner or later afford his own residence on the town.

However González now not fears that masked males with the complete help of the White Home would possibly abduct him. What retains him up at night time now could be realizing that hundreds of thousands of different individuals are going via what he did within the U.S., trying to reside respectable lives whereas the federal government treats them like violent criminals.

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