DEAR HARRIETTE: My household had a giant gathering at Christmas, and we exchanged a number of items. In the long run, although, I seen that my 8-year-old niece obtained fewer items than the remainder of the youngsters.
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I may inform that she felt uncomfortable about that. It’s not that I feel each baby ought to get precisely the identical variety of packages, but it surely was apparent that many members of the family didn’t take into consideration her and as an alternative showered the opposite children with numerous stuff.
She ended up retreating to a nook of the home and never participating a lot with the opposite youngsters regardless that they’re all cousins and shut in age.
How can I deal with this in order that it doesn’t occur once more?
— Brief Shrift
DEAR SHORT SHRIFT: Communicate to the opposite adults within the household and share your remark.
Be particular in regards to the division of items since they in all probability didn’t listen. Observe that it is very important keep away from taking part in favorites among the many youngsters.
After all, dad and mom are anticipated to bathe extra items upon their very own youngsters, however at group vacation gatherings, it’s variety and considerate to contemplate the entire youngsters and guarantee that all of them really feel liked and seen.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My greatest buddy and I’ve been shut since highschool; nonetheless, just lately it looks like she’s began to ghost me.
She doesn’t reply my calls anymore, and when she does reply to my texts, her replies are brief and obscure, as if she doesn’t actually wish to speak to me.
We reside in several states now, which makes it more durable to remain related. I can’t simply drop by to examine on her, and that distance makes this case much more painful.
The final time we talked in individual, she appeared to be in good spirits, however she did open up about struggling together with her psychological well being. I instructed her I used to be there for her it doesn’t matter what, however now I’m questioning if I did or stated one thing fallacious, or if she’s pulling away as a result of she’s coping with issues I don’t absolutely perceive.
I miss her a lot, and I hate feeling like our friendship is slipping away. On the similar time, I don’t wish to strain her if she’s going via one thing powerful. I simply don’t know methods to attain out in a approach that exhibits I care with out making her really feel overwhelmed.
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Ought to I give her house and await her to come back to me, or ought to I maintain attempting to achieve out and let her know I’m right here?
— Besties
DEAR BESTIES: Write your buddy a letter and inform her how a lot you miss her. Inform her you don’t wish to lose your shut bond regardless that you not reside in the identical city.
Add that you simply hope that if she wants something, she is going to attain out to you or to another person. Remind her that she isn’t alone.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You may ship questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
