DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I’ve chosen a shocking cathedral for our wedding ceremony. He has a deep appreciation for etiquette and acceptable costume. For the reason that wedding ceremony is at 10 within the morning, he plans to put on one thing referred to as a cutaway.
If I put on a satin wedding ceremony robe, could I put on opera-length gloves? My concern is that the ceremony is within the morning, and lengthy gloves are usually night put on. Does the fabric of the gloves make a distinction?
GENTLE READER: Brides are allowed appreciable leeway: Lengthy, satin attire are usually not daytime put on, both, however they’re correctly worn by brides.
That mentioned, Miss Manners desires to discourage you from sporting opera gloves to your wedding ceremony — on each aesthetic and sensible grounds.
The sensible cause is that they don’t seem to be simple to take away; the drawn-out method of peeling them off is so mesmerizing that it was once a staple of stripper acts. And your ceremony presumably includes placing on a hoop. One conventional resolution was to chop the seams of the glove’s ring finger, however that leaves it flapping.
The aesthetic cause is that opera gloves go on naked arms. In case your wedding ceremony costume is the standard strapless one worn these days (though absolutely your bridegroom, specifically, would recognize one thing extra conventional), you’ll look much more like a debutante than most trendy brides do.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Why is tipping anticipated? I used to be beneath the impression that it was as much as the client.
In my state, servers are paid minimal wage, so it’s not a query of being underpaid. And why am I anticipated to complement a stranger’s earnings? If you happen to’re not making sufficient cash, get a distinct job!
I’m so disgusted by this begging that I don’t tip anybody, wherever. Is tipping actually a requirement?
GENTLE READER: You might be mighty cavalier concerning the livability of the minimal wage, and concerning the ease of getting a better-paying job. You completely should tip these employees whose jobs historically require it.
Miss Manners usually rails towards the entire concept — why ought to a employee’s wages rely on the whims of shoppers? But as a result of that’s the present system, she considers some tipping necessary.
And this time of yr, suggestions or bonuses for family assist are customary. These are thought-about to be a present of non-public appreciation, however they’re additionally given as a result of, sadly, the common wages are sometimes low.
The notion that tipping is a reward for good service is insulting to the employee, with its implication that good service is to not be anticipated with out an additional bribe. Extra importantly, it’s unreliable, because it justifies the patron in withholding cost if not — fairly or unreasonably — glad. These suggestions are merely a part of the price of the meal; dangerous service needs to be reported to administration.
However apparently tipping is now anticipated always from everybody. You need to in all probability plan to depart suggestions in your pallbearers.
No, you do not need to tip everybody who expects it. Miss Manners agrees with you in principle, if not in follow.
